still sick!

It's Thursday and we're still sadly afflicted with whatever noxious bug is going around. "What?!" you say! Four days later and they've still got it?! Yes we do, and that's largely because of our history with CFS, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Allow me to give you a quick introduction - I'm not writing from a formally-researched and foot-noted point of view, but we can at least give you ours.

CFS is a relatively 'new' syndrome, not necessarily because it hasn't been around for a while, but its particular nebulous cluster of symptoms has only relatively recently been gathered together and formally named. It has thus been recognised as being REAL, which is a great comfort to those who suffer from it, because its symptoms are typically invisible but not therefore non-existent.

The onset of CFS often follows a viral infection - such as Glandular or Ross River Fever. Apparently up to 80% of the population has contracted Glandular Fever, but its symptoms are so variable, it appears to most as being no more severe than a cold or flu. Others (like me!) experience unusual fatigue, which can be a precursor to the long-running CFS.

CFS symptoms are also many and varied, and the worst combinations of symptoms are terribly debilitating.

You've quite possibly encountered friends or acquaintances who've been completely K-Oed by it - spending days or weeks or months on end lying on beds and couches, unable to go out much if ever. At my worst, I experienced this but in bursts rather than for prolonged days - thankfully! To my detriment though, I pushed on and continued going to Bible College lectures when I should have just stayed in bed. There were instances where I had to muster ALL my energy to lift food from my plate to feed myself - lifting a fork seemed beyond me and I quite literally suggested to a friend that she might need to feed me. I had to sit on the floor up the back of lecture rooms to lean against a wall, or shower sitting down, or not go to College meals in the dining room or to church because I didn't have the physical strength to walk or drive myself there. I had a couple of analogies to try to explain the sheer, utter, weakness I experienced - it was like all my energy and all my insides had been vacuumed out of my mouth, leaving no energy or possibility of producing energy, inside. I called it 'jellyfish', and truly felt like I didn't have a skeletal system holding me up.

On top of this, Leigh Hatcher (I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell) identifies another sensation I experienced, which he says feels like blood poisoning - you feel like your blood itself has been contaminated by a toxin and is a thick, dark, and murky substance travelling through your body in a never-ending cycle of pollution.

And as if the physical symptoms aren't enough, you are also mentally terribly 'foggy' - like your synapses are firing extremely slowly, and not down the right neural pathways, like there is a thick fog inside your brain, and mental 'visibility' is very low. In fact a study within an Australian University in 2007 suggested that something about CFS replicates or causes minor brain injury! The smallest decisions (like which menu item to choose) are painfully arduous to make, and all in all, it's much simpler to stay at home out of sight of, and thus out of interaction with the world.

Being chronically unwell and unable to function at the level of what used to be 'normal' for you is terribly deflating and depressing - and people with CFS (as well as people with many other chronic illnesses) often then experience depression as a concomitant condition. It's hard to find and fight your way through, even for Christians going through it, and Christians seeking to care for and support those experiencing it.

So what does all this interesting stuff (?) have to do with us being sick? Well given that we both went through CFS (Steve during high-school and me during Bible College), we both also experienced the compromising of your immune system that can be associated with it. Since CFS, we have almost never had 'normal' symptoms to our colds and infections - instead of the typical sore throat, runny nose, cough, and aches, we usually just revert to 'murky blood poisoning' and 'jellyfish' - we know we are sick and fighting something, but not necessarily sure what - and these symptoms last for several days if not weeks.

I'm sure many readers are now wondering why we haven't tried harder to get fixed. Well, CFS is generally understood as not something you can cure, but rather, something you learn to manage the best way/s possible, so it restricts 'normality' as little as possible. Some people seem to get significantly better after a couple of weeks or months, and others languish with horrible symptoms for years. More research needs to be done!

The other really important thing to mention is that people who are chronically sick have little energy to do even the tiniest tasks in life (like calling RACQ to renew membership, or putting out the wheelie bins, or shopping for groceries with which to cook nourishing meals), let alone the really hard and demanding things (like finding - and driving to - an experienced, compassionate GP or specialist who can't then offer a miracle cure anyway). Chronically ill people thus need carers and friends who are willing not only to offer sympathy and suggestions, but who wordlessly volunteer to vicariously undertake the simple tasks of managing life, and help stave off further fatigue or depression through practical acts of love and kindness and thoughtfulness. In other words, chronically ill people need Christians - Christians who live out the New Testament commands to love sensitively, with generosity, forbearance, and uncommon sacrifice.

Steve and I still experience chronic illness, though not strictly in the CFS-forms I've described above. But to be clear, I haven't pushed through the 'jellyfish' to write this for our sakes - though it may well benefit us for you to read this. Mostly I've written it because Christians can often unintentionally neglect to care for chronically ill or depressed or lonely brothers and sisters, simply because they (or their symptoms) are out of sight, and thus out of mind. I hope this has helped to bring them and their needs more towards the front of our minds, so we can press on to become the remarkably loving people that Jesus wanted, and that our sick family members need.